It has been something of a while since I last wrote a post on this site. It’s funny how life goes, and the place of music within that life. I’d fully intended to be writing on a bi-weekly basis but sometimes stuff gets in the way and music takes a back seat. That’s not to say I haven’t heard much, I have. I’ve just not engaged with it and the music I have heard has sat in the background – music not of my own choosing.

Much time has been spent on a plane in the last few weeks, mainly on an emergency last-minute trip to Australia to see my dying (now deceased) birth mother (BM). The airline had its own brand music to ease the boarding and disembarking process. I’d know it if I heard it but don’t ask me to hum it. Lots of music has been heard as a backdrop in restaurants and hotels, some of it played loudly enough to become an irritation. The radio has been on quite a lot too but again, just sitting there in the background acting as white noise to help me focus on other things. Of course, I’ve been listening to music as part of my studies, finding new sounds to find out new things. But I’ve not used music as an emotional release / escape and that’s quite unusual for me. This could be a reflection of my relationship with my BM. Adopted at a really tender age, I had no shared life with BM so all those very strong musical references I shared with my music-loving mum and dad growing up aren’t there. I don’t know what music to listen to that is ‘ours’ but I’m sure, somewhere along the line, I’ll find a piece of music that will come to represent her passing. For now however, life goes on and it’s time to focus on new days.

Debbie, Notes from Last Night